Uruguay South America 28 She/Her
What does being butch mean to you?
"To me, being butch is being free. Free to be who I am. Growing up was hard, since I come from a catholic and conservative family. I couldn’t be who I am, every time I tried acting or dressing naturally as the butch I am, I immediately got negative reinforcements from my mother. As a result of that, I struggled with internalized butch phobia for a long time. So when I found the butch culture that exists in north america, I felt like it was a dream! There’s women like me and they love themselves and wow, how beautiful and powerful they are! Also, my 8 year relationship with a femme helped out a LOT on coming to terms of who I am and how I wanna present. So being the butch I am today took a lot of courage and I take real pride in it and I love myself. To me, that’s the freedom I’ve grown up dying to taste."
What is butch culture in relation to lesbian culture?
"I’m a south american butch woman, a brazilian one. In our language (portuguese), we don’t have a word as “butch” to define us, the closest you get is “masculine woman” (“mulher masculinizada”) or something similar to “tomboy” (“bofinho”) and that is exclusively used for lesbians. Things are slowly changing now in south america, but it’ll take time. That being said, I understand that the lesbian culture is a huge umbrella to many different identities. Myself, I’ve always identified as a lesbian, a dyke. So, to my identity personally, they go together hand by hand. So the butch culture to me means being that fierce dyke loving non conforming woman I’ve always been."
How does being butch affect you in your daily life?
"Well, it affects me a lot. In positive and negative ways. For example, I don’t get harassed in the streets like my femme girlfriend does when she’s alone. But I can’t walk to the grocery store and not be stared at by 80% of the people I encounter. I almost got my ass bashed once just for walking in a grocery store. Luckily enough my girlfriend as waiting for me at the car and we just took off. At work it was never a problem, I was well accepted and actually quite popular, since I’m a real tender cancer butch, so they get curious and confused about me, they’re not expecting that I’d have this womanhood pride in me, even though I dress and act as I do. With me, I feel, they have to challenge what they think means being a woman. And also, I live now in Uruguay and people are very very polite around here, they tend to keep to themselves, so I’ve never heard anything bad at work. I have to add though that if was I a POC, things would be very different. I’m privileged as I go by in the south american society as a white person."
How do you think the butch identity has changed?
"I think we’ve expanded our boundaries in relation to identity. Back in the day we didn’t have all these identity definitions we have now, so butch and lesbian culture embraced all of us. Also, I notice we’ve grown apart from that heteronormative way of thinking about gender expression. And that to me is fucking awesome. The queerer the better!"
What are some stereotypes about butch women and do you relate?
"That we are toxic, that we want to be men, that we are outdated. I don’t identify with that at all! I’m tender, I’m a hell of a proud woman and I try to challenge myself to be a better human being everyday. But there’s also other stereotypes like we are gentlewomen, that we enjoy manual labor, that we love bikes! And I totally identify with those! Hahah"
How do you feel about butch representation in media?
"We barely exist on the media. In Brazil, we had a singer called Cássia Eller (google her!) that was definitely a butch, even though we don’t have that word to define her there. She was a major role model to me, this ultra sexy rebelious-hairy-armpitted -no-bra-dyke talented woman! And fun fact, she’s loved by every man and woman, including my mother was her fan. Other than that I can’t think of none. I wish we had so much more, so it wouldn’t be so lonely and confusing for many of us growing up."
How did you evolve into your identity?
"I came out as a lesbian when I was 16. I came out as a butch at 28. That tells you a lot, doesn’t it? Misogyny in this shit society is so bad that I rejected my womanhood because of my masculinity before I understood that what I really am is a butch lesbian! A non conforming woman that loves other women (cis women, trans women, nb folks)! Once I got that, life has been a blast. I feel beautiful, sexy and powerful. I breathe a political existence."
What makes you feel beautiful?
"Being butch! Wearing my jeans with a white muscle tee and my vegan leather jacket, my beautiful girl by hand and a fresh haircut. Only thing missing is a bike. Woof!"
Last words?
"Thank you for this project! I really love it and it’s of major importance!"