Western Mass, 50, She/Her
What does being butch mean to you?
What being butch means to me is me being myself. It means being soft on the inside when the world only sees a nefarious character with the potential to inflict bodily harm or ill will. It means being proud as fuck to be female, because let's face it, that is THE best part of who I am. Being butch to me means owning and rocking the living fuck out of every shred of my masculinity, because it's MINE. Being butch to me means being as real as I can every day even when it's hard to even look at myself in the mirror because my masculinity astounds even me sometimes. Being butch to me means pride.
What is butch culture in relation to lesbian culture?
There isn't any butch culture, or at least there hasn't been for some time. I remember there being a start of butch culture in the 1990's in San Francisco, where I lived for 17 years. Sadly, it seems butch culture was replaced by trans culture. Now don't get me wrong here, I love all my trans brothers, deeply, sometimes it feels like it's just not cool to be butch anymore. The butch culture I see any sight of now are bands of butches here and there in groups on Facebook, like the last survivors of some bygone era. Sad to me.
How does being butch affect you in daily life?
Sadly, not very much at all because I pass as male 99.99999% of the time I am out in public. Every where I go, for the last 30+ years. So my butch visibility is nil unfortunately, unless I'm at a queer function or location. I am starting to consider wearing more queer stuff to open peoples eyes, seriously. When I am recognized as butch, one of two things happens... I am either immediately respected and revered, or scorned as a threat or a challenge. To me it seems that butch culture has evolved to be more about being out and proud about being butch and fully owning that, from it being more of a hidden and secretive thing. It's time to stand tall and be proud to be butch, butch is sexy as fuck, and it feels like society is starting to get that and it's about fucking time. Butches have always been thought of as ugly lesbians, for generations. I live every day proving that wrong, and I'm damn proud to do it.
What are some stereotypes of butch women, and do you relate to them?
Probably one of the biggest I've ever encountered is that we are all man haters. I laugh at that because I have enjoyed many friendships and sex with both women AND men since I was a teenager, and still do. Another bullshit stereotype I've been subjected to is that the more masculine/butch you are, the more likely you are stone, meaning you do not receive physical pleasure or direct genital touching. I have always been someone who loves to receive exactly what I give sexually, everything, regardless of being butch as fuck.
How do you feel about how butch women are portrayed in the media?
I feel like it's bullshit. We are either glamorized in Hollywood, too glossy and girly, or super ugly and overweight. We are the butt of jokes and made fun of. The way butch women are portrayed in the media pisses me off, we're always the bad or fucked up ones...
How did you evolve into your identity?
Time, laughter, tears, pride, sex, anger, self love, courage, humility, introspection and patience. My younger years were spent getting my ass kicked daily and being teased mercilessly for looking like a boy and for being different. A big part of my younger identity came from getting sick of being picked on and deciding to do something about it, so at 13 I stated lifting weights and learning how to fight back, literally. I became so hard on the outside protecting myself that people were afraid to approach me, which for me, was counter effective because I'm a people person, so I had to learn how to be both... An approachable bad ass. Years later, my evolution is still happening, and I am constantly in awe of who I've become. I seriously can't find the words to express the gratitude in myself for having the courage to just be me. To do the work to find out who I really am, day after day after day. To stay the course...
What makes you feel beautiful?
My girlfriend does. The way she touches me and how she treats me makes me feel the most beautiful I've ever felt in my life. The way she just is with me makes me feel like she truly sees me, the real me, past my appearance and image. Both a profoundly wonderful and incredibly sad awareness. Is this the first time in my life I've ever really felt beautiful? This question was harder to answer than I originally thought as I read down the list of questions a few weeks ago... another opportunity to evolve.