Bellingham WA. 58. She/Her
What does being butch mean to you?
“Well, I didn’t want to be a guy, and I didn’t want to be all foofy-girly. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s you know, and things weren’t accepted, what you were doing was illegal, what we had was a mental problem if we were gay. I’m not the same person I was, 30 or 40 years ago or whatever, but my identity has never changed. The closest I’ve ever gotten to being girly was a catholic girls school uniform, and that was pushing it! But in the literal word of butch, I would describe it as ‘a woman identifying as a man or a woman who dresses and acts nontraditionally. In my time it was nontraditional. There was certain places I didn’t go into just because it wasn’t worth it, noticeably high school PE, Never ONCE did I take a shower!”
How do you feel about the generational difference of butches?
“Of course, as society we’ve evolved to be a bit more accepting of, nontraditional genders or people who choose to identify differently. You know, I can remember suddenly after the big Madonna bloom, it became almost like, a fad to be gay. All the sudden I’m seeing young guys and girls just happily holding hands and walking down the street, and I’m riding by on my bike like ‘Whoa you’re looking to get your ass kicked! Or yelled at or things thrown at you…’ And I’m kind of proud of the younger generation for standing up for themselves, however I think that a little bit of our gay history has been lost in their growing up shuffle, they are not really paying attention to the reason why their able to do those things. I like to have coffee at the black drop and I like to make conversation and I’ve asked young dykes and femmes if they know about stonewall and 99% of them had not a clue. This generation of course knows what aids is and sexually transmitted stuff that’s out there that can kill you. Hep C, a survivor myself. I think that a lot of that history has been ignored, and I also think that my generation has willingly let that be swept away. I’m saying emotionally, it’s been shelved. I lost seven friends in one week. I leave to go on vacation and I come back to work and nobody is there, I knew people were sick when I left but you know, yeah, there was a lot of uncertainty and fear and ignorance, coming from both sides. Mostly fear coming from us, I don’t think we were ignorant to the fact that something was happening. It took the wind our of sails, but just for a moment, I give kudos to the next generation for stepping in and making the marches happen.”
Do you have any life changing or really important moments surrounding your butchness?
“One of the most empowering moment I’ve ever felt was riding into San Francisco in the 80’s on my bike and being able to ride with like 3,000 other women, it was huge, Seattle was huge, Bellingham was huge. That and being honored by my community, I was grand marshal in Bellingham’s pride a few years back and that was very empowering.”
How does being butch affect with socially, economically?
“I always got pretty cool jobs when I was younger, being nontraditional, guys make more money. That’s a fact, still is today. And so why not go for the job that gives you the money. I’ve been a CNA, bartender, worked on boats, that’s how I grew up. The only traditional job I ever worked out was as a CNA and even then, my friend can attest that we were the human lifting machines, because we were the ones that could do it! If someone was combative, they would come get us, and they made us deal with it.”
What are some stereotypes about butch women and do you relate?
“That we want to be men, first and foremost, and that is such a big generalization for a large group of people, you know. Just because you wear 501’s and a leather jacket you want to be a man. I mean its not really like that anymore, but back then it was like ‘WOAH she’s wearing BOOTS, men’s boots!’ Like ‘Yeah! And I’ll put it up your ass too!’. Another one is that we all want like, really femme-y women, you know, to play that straight role for us, that’s a common one. Like all we want is a lipstick lesbian. I know tons of butches that have been together for 30, 40 years now, and they have really cool relationships, that dynamic is totally different.”
Do you think you’ve had partners that have stereotyped you, or put you in a gender role?
“Yeah, the last one did, did big time. Wanted me to be the lawn mower, tree trimer, car fixer, house painter, that role. But I like to cook man! I like to play in the kitchen too! I got a bit stagnant with that one because I wasn’t allowed to move around too much, and I ain’t down with that! As far as relationships go, I was a bit of a player, my motto always was, ‘why have one girlfriend when you can have three?’ Yeah okay I was a player, can’t get around that any other way. Long term relationships just didn’t gel with me.”
How do you think that butch culture is different or separate than lesbian culture?
“Well, I guess butches’ socks were always dirtier… HA! Kidding, well, I don’t know there was a lot of people that wouldn’t hang out with us, they were visually afraid of us. We were intimidating. It’s like an unspoken language. But I know I was very happy to have a circle of other bucthes around me when I was younger. It made it a lot easier to exist, to meet other strong people that were like you.”
How do you feel about the way butch women are presented in media?
“We weren’t at all, until orange is the new black came along, and if we were before that it was super stereotypical. Very straight mans point of view of directing. I know Lea DeLaria was around in the very beginning and she’s funnier than hell! She’s always been a very strong butch role model from the very beginning that I absolutely idolized. I thought ‘Yep, there’s a sister!’ a strong one too. I just got into watching oitnb and I binged watched and watching her character is great. I identify with a lot of those characters, they’re so strongly defined. It’ll be sad to see it go next year. But overall there’s practically no representation and the only press we get is when we’re in prison, so what does that say there? Not to say that we are victims, I’ve not known many butches to identify with being a victim, but yeah. What does that say.”
How did you evolve into your identity?
“I kind of was just put in this category, I played with the boys growing up, I hit the front deck of the beach cabin and strip down to my shorts because mom would have me all prettied up for the day and I wasn’t having that. I liked bikes, I mean really first you get called a tomboy label, that comes first, if you don’t shake the tomboy label, by growing a pony tail or playing soccer or something, kidding. If you don’t do that then parents start getting nervous! I remember my mom and my grandma trying to have that talk with me ‘no I couldn’t cut my hair, I had to wear dresses, no I couldn’t have a black pair of keds or converse high tops!’ I had to be this way or that way and I fought it tooth and nail. I’d just run over to John’s house and steal his cub scout shirt and off we’d go! Now kids can get a bit more readily get their clothing choices accepted and that’s great.”
Do you like your butchness?
“Yeah! Oh yeah, I’m totally comfortable, wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t know any different, there just isn’t really a part of me that is femme, its not like we are hard rocks though. We have emotions.”
What makes you feel beautiful?
“New pair of boots and some 501’s ha! With a good-looking bike.”
Last words?
“Go for it, be true to yourself, in the end; this is what you got [your heart] pack as much in there as you can, learn your history, learn about where you came from because it’s a defined part of our culture, back to the Nancy boys of the 1800’s. Make sure you know your history and represent yourself well.”