Bellingham WA. 19 She/her
What does butch mean to you?
“Butch has always meant, a very masculine womxn, regardless of usual sexuality. It’s always just meant a masculine womxn, like ‘oh you look very butch today’.”
How do you feel about the way butch womxn are portrayed in media?
“I always feel like they are portrayed as smartasses, you know? Like of course Big Boo, biggest smartass of them all. But, I feel like when they [are] represented it’s in LGBT+ TV shows. Occasionally represented well, but when a straight white men is behind the camera, butches are represented as a hyper sexual being. But then there is shows like ‘Orange is the New Black, where the whole show IS based off of hyper sexuality.”
How do you feel about butches generational wise? What’s the differences you notice?
“A lot less leather, honestly. More denim. I feel like we [younger butches] have a lot less to be scared about, I feel like butches are always seen as very aggressive women too, very mean and vicious, so I feel maybe back then if you had a lot more to be afraid of, you needed to be aggressive to protect yourself. Be able to stand up for yourself constantly. But I think now the spectrum has opened up and now there’s more like ‘soft butch’.”
How do you think you’ve been privileged?
“Oh for sure I have, living in a more liberal area I have benefited very positively. I’m able to walk around and most of the time get called by the right pronouns, or even get asked what they are, and that’s really nice. But I definitely know in some states it’s not like that. Like when I went to Texas I got a lot of ‘Sir’s and then the ‘Oh, sorry”. Like just pick one! It was always an awkward thing, but having to call me sir and then just taking it back, being made an example of, made me feel like ‘dude just choose one.’”
What makes you feel beautiful?
“What makes me feel beautiful? Putting on like, a fully clean outfit, you know? Like down to the socks, fuckin’ fresh. When my hair goes off to the right direction. Seeing all the beautiful people around me, really taking in all the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with, they’re all individually very beautiful and I vibe off of that. I love my beautiful friends.”
How did you evolve into your identity?
“Well, all started by coming out you know, I literally came out of a closet telling my friends I was gay, and then I started dressing a lot more masculine in middle school, it opened broader horizons for me to just wear whatever the fuck I want, you know like I used to wear footie pajamas under my clothes. In high school I don’t know what happened but I kinda went back to being feminine, and then I was like ‘Fuck that, I wanna be a dyke’. So I started dressing like every other skater boy at school, except you know, ten times better.”
How does being butch affect you in your daily life?
“It affects me every day, just waking up in the morning and getting dressed, sometimes I have some issues because I want to look ware more masculine than my body is. That’s a morning struggle, just going out and about. Just running errands, your whole day can turn around by going to a grocery store and having someone call you something offensive. Or like, hearing a coworker say ‘that’s so gay’. I think a lot of women go into a relationship with a butch or someone masculine and expect it to be just like dating a man, and its not, at all. I’m still a girl. You get a lot of girls that like you because you look like a boy, and its like your femininity is just erased. It’s really hard. It’s really hard to live up to expectations of being someone, you literally aren’t. Especially when your dick is silicone.”
What are some stereotypes about butch women and do you relate?
“Jean jackets… and I do relate. I literally was deciding between a jean jacket and a flannel this morning. Also like the stereotype of hating men, which I do hate men… but I also hate everyone. Equally. Another one is the ‘handy man’ one, which I think is just a sexist thing, like the more you look masculine, the more you can do masculine things. Which yeah I can like, build a shelf, but mostly because I don’t need a man to do that for me. Being butch you learn how to do things yourself, because you’re not looking for the attention of men and men don’t try to help you.”
Do you like your butchness?
“Oh yeah… I think it’s kinda fuckin’ rad. I like being different from the norm, here I am, I’m gay and I dress like a boy! It’s fun being a dyke.”
