Los Angeles, CA. 26. She/her
What does being butch mean to you?
“Being butch is two things for me, first part of it is how I look, how I dress and present myself in the world. The second part being my role in relationships. The butch and femme dynamic. Just about every relationship I’ve been in has had the butch-femme dynamic. It seems that even before I was ever involved in lesbian culture I was in butch-femme relationships, you know, like, before I had ever seen the L word or things like that, that’s how it was.”
Did the L word influence your decision to live in LA?
“Yeah, in a way. I came here to get my master’s degree, but I knew I would stay. I’ve done like every lesbian bucket list, I’ve gone to Dinah shore, I’ve gone out to west Hollywood to the bars and coffee shops that inspired the L word locations, this weekend I went to lesbian lube wrestling.”
What is butch culture, in relation to lesbian culture?
“It’s definitely separate but inside of, I couldn’t say exactly what it is, but you see it, you know it. Like keys on a carabineer, caps, leather jackets, motorcycles, if you wanted to point at specific things, but it’s hard to define.”
How does being butch affect you in your daily life, like work or economically, or social settings?
“Being butch makes work harder, especially because there is a more conservative view to accounting, people don’t like to work with people who are different. Around this time last year, I was interviewing for jobs and people would be excited to hear me on the phone, feminine voice, they would see my resume and they would like it. Then I would come in for the interview and their attitude would totally change, those reactions would make me feel annoyed or surprised. I mean when you think about LA, you think about an accepting community, but some people have their own bubble.”
Did you have any moments in your life that affected you?
“When I wasn’t fully out, and comfortable with who I was I had more issues. My first few years of high school I was at a catholic school and that was when I was realizing that I was gay. Took me a little longer I suppose. People were not super receptive to it, it was hard to fit in there. Even after that I moved and went to a public school, at first it wasn’t great but then I started just owing it. I started a gay straight alliance club, which was kind of a struggle. But after I did that, I think nobody wanted to mess with me. Even the principal didn’t. It was kind of in a way like a second coming out, saying that you can’t mess with me anymore. I can stand up for myself. First coming out though was different. I was outed, my first girlfriends’ parents outed me to my mom, and at first it was hard, but I have a great mom, so she got on board quickly. It’s been almost entirely positive. I’ve always worn boys’ clothes, so it wasn’t a much of a change, my whole family is supportive. Obviously at first, everybody had a reaction, even if it was neutral.”
How do you think butch culture has evolved over time and across generations?
“I think the biggest evolution of butch culture now would be butch culture intersecting with non-binary culture. I think more and more butch lesbians are starting to identify as non-binary. Not me personally, but like Rhea Butcher, for example came out as non-binary butch lesbian and more people are identifying with that. I think the reason for that is before there wasn’t the terminology for how people were feeling, but butch was the best way to describe it. Besides that, I can’t really say or speak for elder gays, because I don’t know very many.”
What are some stereotypes about butch womxn and do you relate to them?
“I think one of the biggest stereotypes is that we’re aggressive. I think that harms butch women in a lot of ways. One common one is approaching other women, butches can feel afraid of approaching other women for fear of appearing aggressive or menacing when really like, women want to be approached by butches, badly. I’ve heard the word ‘aggressive’ to describe me before. As for if stereotypes are changing? I don’t think so, I think it just has to do overall with misogyny, all women can be seen as aggressive for just asking for their needs.”
How do you think butch women are portrayed in media?
“Hmm, not enough. Needs more. The common examples I can think of is... ‘orange is the new black’ Big boo. Which is pretty decent, but a little stereotypical? Maybe in the way she interacts with women. But otherwise good. Lea DeLaria is great. I can’t think of many more. The L word didn’t really have a ‘butch’ character. I think it would be great to see a main character as a butch lesbian, not just a secondary.”
How did you evolve into your identity?
“I don’t know because I’ve always just kind of been me, I’ve always presented this way. Always wore guys clothes. Just being confident in who I am, feeling like I can speak up. I’ve always felt that way, but it’s grown with age. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way.”
Any messages for other butch womxn coming into their identity?
“I would say, it’s okay to be who you are even if you are not sure yet. Don’t take shit for anything. Always stand up for yourself even if it’s turns out you were wrong later, it’s still okay.”
What makes you feel beautiful?
“Modeling, walking in a fashion show for sure. Walking into a bar and seeing that people are looking at me. Validation form other people and attention, I like attention.
Final words and thought?
“Just that this project is such a good idea, and the people doing it are important, and I hope a lot of people are able to see it.”
